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So much goes into making sure your children have a healthy relationship to money and balancing career growth with family responsibilities for parents. In this episode we have professional money manager and financial advisor Abbe Large, the Managing Director at Lenox Advisors. We talk about everything from introducing conversations with children about the value of money and how to achieve generational wealth as a family, to planning the family vacations.
#MomTok #ParentTok #ProtectthePaycheck #generationalwealth #longtermcareinsurance #financialadvisor #vacationplanning
Find more on Financial Advisor Abbe F. Large here:
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/abbeflarge/
Website: https://www.lenoxadvisors.com/insights/let-s-talk-money-with-abbe-f-large/
Bio: https://www.forbes.com/profile/abbe-f-large/
Share your thoughts, questions, show ideas:
Have questions about today’s episode, or anything else related to the health and wellness of your family? Either write us an email or upload a voice memo, and send to growingupwithdr.sarah@gmail.com and we’ll try and address your questions on an episode.
Please SUBSCRIBE, LIKE & SHARE if this topic interests you
ABOUT Dr. Sarah:
Looking for a place to educate yourself and your family on how to live your best lives? Welcome to “Growing Up with Dr. Sarah,” where we dive into general health and wellness, parenting , family matters, and real-life challenges that affect every single one of us. Being both a pediatrician and a mother has given me unique insight about how to live healthier, happier, and stronger as individuals, and as families.
The success of the family starts from the top, and by helping parents and caregivers address tough questions and everyday concerns. So join me and some of my special guests: physicians, nutritionists, fitness experts, community members, coaches, teachers, even kids, and parents –and let’s grow up together!
Check out previous episodes of “Growing Up with Dr. Sarah” at www.growingupwithdrsarah.com
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WEBVTT
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[SPEAKER_02]: Open transparency communication is really, really important to figure out who's paying for what, who's saving for what, when are we going to do this?
00:07.615 --> 00:08.736
[SPEAKER_02]: What's the budget for this?
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's about open communication.
00:10.957 --> 00:12.038
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so, so important.
00:12.218 --> 00:19.462
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm going to plug in in this moment that that conversation is amazing for children to witness.
00:21.866 --> 00:26.028
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you raising your family while also feeling like you're still growing out yourself?
00:26.689 --> 00:28.890
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you wonder if you are getting it right?
00:29.250 --> 00:33.013
[SPEAKER_00]: Or do you ask, where's the roadmap to building a happy healthy life?
00:33.633 --> 00:36.014
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Growing Up with Dr. Sarah.
00:36.435 --> 00:40.217
[SPEAKER_00]: She's a pediatrician and a mom, and she helps the whole family.
00:40.837 --> 00:46.682
[SPEAKER_01]: Hi, I'm Dr. Sarah Adams, a board certified pediatrician, but I'm not your pediatrician.
00:47.122 --> 00:55.889
[SPEAKER_01]: Feel free to use my podcast as helpful information, but in no way do I intend my podcast to replace the advice of your physician.
00:56.369 --> 01:01.213
[SPEAKER_01]: Your physician knows you and is in the best position to provide medical advice.
01:10.422 --> 01:12.823
[SPEAKER_01]: So much goes into raising healthy children.
01:13.224 --> 01:17.506
[SPEAKER_01]: But what about making sure your children have a healthy relationship to money?
01:18.147 --> 01:18.547
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome.
01:18.647 --> 01:22.409
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm Dr. Sarah Adams, and today I'm growing up with Dr. Sarah.
01:22.849 --> 01:29.813
[SPEAKER_01]: I have with me professional money manager and advisor Abbey Large, the Managing Director at Linux Advisors.
01:30.194 --> 01:30.934
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome, Abbey.
01:31.975 --> 01:33.275
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for having me, Sarah.
01:34.056 --> 01:37.658
[SPEAKER_01]: Abbey, I'm so happy to have you here today, so much
01:38.101 --> 01:45.103
[SPEAKER_01]: to get to especially when we, as parents, think about how to balance career growth and family responsibilities.
01:45.963 --> 01:51.944
[SPEAKER_01]: So many parents feel torn between advancing their careers and being present for their families.
01:52.404 --> 01:55.145
[SPEAKER_01]: What financial strategies can help ease that tension?
01:58.166 --> 02:00.806
[SPEAKER_02]: Financial strategies or life strategies?
02:01.047 --> 02:02.767
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm open to both.
02:05.225 --> 02:11.210
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's really important to surround yourself with people that support you and believe in you.
02:12.972 --> 02:18.937
[SPEAKER_02]: Because if you don't have that support, it's nearly impossible in my humble opinion.
02:18.957 --> 02:29.167
[SPEAKER_02]: I have incredible, I surround myself with incredibly strong, resilient, committed, trustworthy,
02:30.067 --> 02:31.528
[SPEAKER_02]: successful people.
02:32.249 --> 02:42.096
[SPEAKER_02]: And I have always made that my goal when I first started in this business thirty one years ago was to surround myself with people that were more successful than me, always.
02:43.437 --> 02:44.358
[SPEAKER_02]: And I saw them out.
02:46.532 --> 02:49.334
[SPEAKER_02]: Those people that are successful understand what it takes.
02:49.534 --> 02:53.277
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a heavy lift and you can't do it alone.
02:53.878 --> 02:58.001
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're doing it alone, it's super super super, super challenging.
02:59.402 --> 03:07.829
[SPEAKER_02]: And self doubt creeps in because all that stuff creeps in regardless, but when you're going at it by yourself, it's not okay.
03:09.110 --> 03:17.817
[SPEAKER_02]: So Lennox advisors is probably a big, I have to, I have to give a shout out to the people that are there.
03:18.197 --> 03:22.921
[SPEAKER_02]: I do because without them, there is no bloody way that I would be where I am today.
03:23.141 --> 03:24.222
[SPEAKER_02]: There's just hands down.
03:24.242 --> 03:27.844
[SPEAKER_02]: I have an extremely supportive husband.
03:28.821 --> 03:39.112
[SPEAKER_02]: who believes in me and again, the believing part is the big thing because people go through their life and the more that they succeed, believe it or not, the more self-doubt they get.
03:40.765 --> 03:41.946
[SPEAKER_02]: It's imposter syndrome.
03:42.507 --> 03:44.448
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been talking about that a lot lately.
03:45.569 --> 03:49.492
[SPEAKER_02]: Because you fight to get to where you need to be and succeed.
03:49.512 --> 03:52.155
[SPEAKER_02]: And then once you get there, it's different.
03:54.497 --> 03:58.480
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're a mom and the kid gets sick, you're going to the doctor.
03:59.581 --> 04:07.688
[SPEAKER_02]: If you need to pick up your child needs to be picked up at school in the middle of the day, you're dropping your stuff and you're going to pick them up.
04:09.365 --> 04:16.489
[SPEAKER_02]: Having said that, there are other things that fall on us, like laundry and dishes and cleaning.
04:16.749 --> 04:26.295
[SPEAKER_02]: And these are the things that don't involve a child or can involve a child by letting them do it because they're part of a community.
04:26.435 --> 04:29.997
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's a whole other topic in and up itself, which I will touch on.
04:31.437 --> 04:37.601
[SPEAKER_02]: But the support in your family is so important because if they don't support you,
04:40.794 --> 04:45.517
[SPEAKER_02]: If the dishes are in the dishwasher, they need to do it as being part of the community.
04:45.758 --> 04:53.383
[SPEAKER_02]: If the laundry is piled up, my kids learned how to do their own laundry by default because I wasn't doing it.
04:53.403 --> 05:02.509
[SPEAKER_02]: And now having said all this, you have people that support you in the house with your chores, et cetera, et cetera, but you can also hire someone.
05:03.730 --> 05:08.153
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're working really hard and you're making the money, you need to invest
05:09.023 --> 05:12.864
[SPEAKER_02]: in your business, but your business is also in your home.
05:13.824 --> 05:22.046
[SPEAKER_02]: So I felt it was really important to invest in my business and hire people to do these things that took away my energy and my time.
05:24.726 --> 05:32.768
[SPEAKER_02]: And the more energy and time that I got back, the more successful I became because my energies were projected in the right spot.
05:35.370 --> 05:47.483
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you're investing in yourself by hiring an assistant, by hiring people to help you in your business, you got to lump in the personal part of that because that is part of your business also.
05:51.252 --> 05:52.514
[SPEAKER_02]: I wouldn't say it's an expense.
05:52.554 --> 05:53.695
[SPEAKER_02]: I would say it's an investment.
05:54.796 --> 05:55.958
[SPEAKER_02]: It's an investment in your self.
05:56.218 --> 05:59.141
[SPEAKER_02]: It's an investment in making you not go cray cray.
05:59.942 --> 06:08.953
[SPEAKER_02]: It's an investment in making sure that your children are being raised by a mother who is like calm and cool and elected most of the time.
06:10.114 --> 06:11.315
[SPEAKER_02]: But the point is that
06:13.680 --> 06:22.402
[SPEAKER_02]: The point of this is you need to surround yourself with people that believe in you, support you, can challenge you, can be honest with you.
06:24.742 --> 06:27.503
[SPEAKER_02]: And you need to believe in yourself and invest in yourself.
06:28.603 --> 06:33.544
[SPEAKER_02]: And that means investing in whatever you need at home to take care of that job, too, because it's job.
06:34.744 --> 06:36.605
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a job at home, but it's a job nonetheless.
06:37.385 --> 06:41.726
[SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate your answers so much, especially, you know, we've all heard that
06:42.303 --> 06:45.265
[SPEAKER_01]: comment about it takes a village and I truly believe in that.
06:45.585 --> 06:51.810
[SPEAKER_01]: But it sounds like Abby, you have a great team in your office and a great team at home.
06:52.290 --> 07:07.161
[SPEAKER_01]: And I really appreciate those comments because I think sometimes at least for me, it was hard to give up some of those responsibilities, but it made it impossible to try to be present for both when I was at work as well as at home.
07:08.243 --> 07:18.406
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, with families, they're really trying to prioritize their financial planning, but they're also juggling those high costs of child care and extracurricular activities.
07:18.766 --> 07:21.987
[SPEAKER_01]: How can families juggle those?
07:24.228 --> 07:25.428
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you have to budget.
07:26.708 --> 07:28.869
[SPEAKER_02]: And most families don't even know what they spend in a month.
07:29.609 --> 07:30.269
[SPEAKER_02]: They just spend.
07:31.290 --> 07:32.390
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's important to budget.
07:33.962 --> 07:37.543
[SPEAKER_02]: And I give my clients cash flow a cash flow analysis.
07:37.864 --> 07:39.044
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, what are the inflows?
07:39.064 --> 07:39.964
[SPEAKER_02]: What are the outflows?
07:40.185 --> 07:41.725
[SPEAKER_02]: What can you tail back?
07:41.805 --> 07:42.946
[SPEAKER_02]: What do you really need?
07:43.006 --> 07:43.586
[SPEAKER_02]: What do you want?
07:43.626 --> 07:44.866
[SPEAKER_02]: There are wants and there are needs.
07:45.987 --> 07:47.627
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's about recalibrating.
07:47.988 --> 07:50.068
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you need to pivot, that's what we do.
07:51.489 --> 07:56.631
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, but that's the first step is to get a grasp of the cash flow.
07:58.469 --> 08:04.063
[SPEAKER_02]: and figure out your priorities and maybe list them in order.
08:07.304 --> 08:18.508
[SPEAKER_02]: And just like I said, we calibrate the income to figure out how you can pivot and project what where the monies are spent best.
08:19.128 --> 08:25.570
[SPEAKER_02]: Because it's interesting, you know, people don't realize that I get this a lot with people that I mentor.
08:25.910 --> 08:27.051
[SPEAKER_02]: Am I, do you have an assistant?
08:27.071 --> 08:28.771
[SPEAKER_02]: They're like, no, I can't afford it.
08:28.931 --> 08:30.812
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, you can't afford not to have one.
08:32.212 --> 08:33.613
[SPEAKER_02]: Because you don't realize that
08:35.085 --> 08:45.694
[SPEAKER_02]: When you're given the space and energy and opportunity to hone in on your superpower, that's going to make you money, right?
08:45.894 --> 08:48.776
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the name of the career, right?
08:49.377 --> 08:49.637
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
08:51.459 --> 08:56.363
[SPEAKER_02]: Get all the obstacles out of the way so that you could just focus on that.
08:57.344 --> 09:02.468
[SPEAKER_02]: And the more you invest back into your business, the more successful you will become.
09:03.544 --> 09:08.449
[SPEAKER_02]: because you're not bogged down doing all the things that you don't have superpowers on.
09:09.610 --> 09:19.239
[SPEAKER_02]: So find people that have superpowers with the things that you hate to do, and that take and suck up your time and energy, right?
09:19.679 --> 09:20.000
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
09:20.680 --> 09:25.585
[SPEAKER_02]: And focus on what you do best, find out what your superpower is, and that's what that's your lane.
09:25.725 --> 09:26.366
[SPEAKER_02]: Stay in your lane.
09:27.026 --> 09:28.408
[SPEAKER_02]: And a lot of people don't stay in their lane.
09:29.955 --> 09:35.818
[SPEAKER_02]: And it causes anxiety and frustration and exhaustion and all of these things.
09:36.158 --> 09:38.319
[SPEAKER_02]: And then you wonder why, like, what's happening?
09:38.879 --> 09:39.920
[SPEAKER_02]: It's because you're not in your lane.
09:42.221 --> 09:44.582
[SPEAKER_01]: And so many families are dual income.
09:45.322 --> 09:52.626
[SPEAKER_01]: What are some effective strategies for managing finances together, what will maintaining individual financial goals?
09:53.746 --> 09:56.908
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe some parents have different priorities, as you mentioned.
09:58.718 --> 10:00.978
[SPEAKER_02]: A dual income household is wonderful.
10:01.539 --> 10:05.599
[SPEAKER_02]: The first thing I would say is make sure you have disability income insurance.
10:06.860 --> 10:07.720
[SPEAKER_02]: Protect the paycheck.
10:09.480 --> 10:27.104
[SPEAKER_02]: Really important because if you're relying on two household incomes to spend your household expenses on a monthly basis and also save for retirement, save for children's education, buying a home, whatever it is,
10:29.107 --> 10:30.708
[SPEAKER_02]: That's really important to do.
10:32.129 --> 10:46.799
[SPEAKER_02]: The other part that I would say about a dual household income is to sit down together and figure out who's responsible for what and it might be what you like to do, what do you like best out of this list to take care of, to take control of.
10:47.859 --> 10:49.680
[SPEAKER_02]: to be responsible for, accountable for.
10:50.360 --> 11:16.771
[SPEAKER_02]: And, you know, maybe it's once a month or once a week, you come together again and say, this is what I did, you know, you have a list of things to do and a list of what I have found is what has been, he writes a honey do list for me and as opposed to like just projectile telling me when he's thinking about it and I'm like working or thinking about something else because when you're in a dual income household, both parents have careers, both people have careers.
11:17.271 --> 11:22.601
[SPEAKER_02]: and they're thinking about their careers during the day or night or whatever it is.
11:24.811 --> 11:49.091
[SPEAKER_02]: being organized with your to do's and your you know your thoughts and your feelings with your spouse financially is very important to put into a list and then when you're both in a good space sit down and just discuss it so that you can be on the same page open transparency communication is really really important to figure out who's paying for what who's saving for what when are we going to do this what's the budget for this
11:49.812 --> 11:51.213
[SPEAKER_02]: It's about open communication.
11:51.353 --> 11:52.434
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so, so important.
11:52.634 --> 11:59.899
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm going to plug in in this moment that that conversation is amazing for children to witness.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
12:02.481 --> 12:09.005
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't lock yourselves up and discuss money is important for your children to hear about often.
12:10.246 --> 12:11.907
[SPEAKER_02]: Often because.
12:13.712 --> 12:20.723
[SPEAKER_02]: The first question I'll tell you, the first question I ask my clients when I'm doing a discovery meeting or a fact-find call, right?
12:21.544 --> 12:26.011
[SPEAKER_02]: Tell me about how you were raised with money, with your parents.
12:26.432 --> 12:27.513
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what was that like?
12:29.746 --> 12:35.791
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's a really important question because so many people are not exposed to money at an early age.
12:36.231 --> 12:37.672
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't know how to handle the money.
12:37.792 --> 12:49.462
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm dealing with a lot of high network people, a lot of high network clients that are doing a lot of estate planning, they're doing all the tax planning, they're doing all the stuff so that they can pass a lot of money to their airs.
12:50.530 --> 12:55.817
[SPEAKER_02]: But the real question is, once you pass the money to the airs, do they know what to do with it?
12:55.877 --> 12:57.359
[SPEAKER_02]: Do they know how to handle the money?
12:57.799 --> 12:59.362
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's really, really important.
12:59.742 --> 13:06.351
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you know that money in generational wealth is usually gone by the third generation?
13:07.312 --> 13:08.774
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, I did not know that.
13:09.183 --> 13:10.924
[SPEAKER_02]: It which is crazy if you think about it.
13:11.524 --> 13:14.685
[SPEAKER_02]: It dwindles down because people don't know how to handle it.
13:15.065 --> 13:16.186
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't know how to spend it.
13:16.226 --> 13:17.106
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't know how to save it.
13:17.126 --> 13:18.106
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't know how to invest it.
13:18.146 --> 13:19.247
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't know how to give it away.
13:19.267 --> 13:23.749
[SPEAKER_02]: And all of these things need to be taught at a very early age with a piggy bank.
13:24.969 --> 13:30.295
[SPEAKER_02]: have little slots saving, investing, giving away, you know, spending.
13:30.315 --> 13:35.560
[SPEAKER_02]: They need to understand how that dollar stretches and how to use it.
13:36.021 --> 13:40.346
[SPEAKER_02]: It's really important started out as early as infants.
13:41.967 --> 13:43.809
[SPEAKER_01]: And I definitely want to get to
13:44.769 --> 13:51.574
[SPEAKER_01]: the topic of children and teaching that financial literacy, but you brought up such a good point about generations.
13:52.034 --> 13:59.140
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that we both share that passion of empowering the whole family's needs, especially as they evolve.
13:59.940 --> 14:11.529
[SPEAKER_01]: When we think about preparation necessary for those sandwich years, when many of us are taking care of children and our aging parents, what financial steps should parents take now
14:12.005 --> 14:17.609
[SPEAKER_01]: to prepare for those dual responsibilities of supporting kids and their aging parents.
14:17.849 --> 14:18.730
[SPEAKER_02]: Wonderful question.
14:18.770 --> 14:19.791
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for asking it.
14:19.951 --> 14:23.653
[SPEAKER_02]: They need to buy long-term care insurance.
14:23.774 --> 14:24.414
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll repeat it.
14:24.734 --> 14:26.996
[SPEAKER_02]: Buy long-term care insurance.
14:27.496 --> 14:29.358
[SPEAKER_02]: I cannot tell you how important this is.
14:30.739 --> 14:33.481
[SPEAKER_02]: We are about to experience
14:34.861 --> 14:36.362
[SPEAKER_02]: a real problem in America.
14:36.903 --> 14:43.007
[SPEAKER_02]: People are living too long and they don't know how they have not planned.
14:43.047 --> 14:48.331
[SPEAKER_02]: They have not saved enough money to live longer than they anticipated.
14:48.351 --> 14:52.093
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a big problem.
14:52.113 --> 14:52.694
[SPEAKER_02]: It is.
14:54.335 --> 14:58.478
[SPEAKER_02]: So long-term care insurance can mitigate that risk.
14:59.464 --> 15:08.469
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, from you running out of money and just the burden will be placed on the kids.
15:09.250 --> 15:11.832
[SPEAKER_02]: No matter what, the burden will be placed on the kids.
15:12.512 --> 15:13.192
[SPEAKER_02]: No matter what.
15:14.933 --> 15:27.161
[SPEAKER_02]: And when there's money in play, when you remove that money conversation, then you can focus on what's really important, right?
15:27.621 --> 15:29.102
[SPEAKER_02]: Family and love.
15:30.775 --> 15:33.436
[SPEAKER_02]: Because money will tear a family apart.
15:33.876 --> 15:35.357
[SPEAKER_02]: It will break relationships.
15:35.657 --> 15:37.698
[SPEAKER_02]: It is just wow.
15:38.118 --> 15:39.799
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like wow.
15:41.459 --> 15:56.506
[SPEAKER_02]: But when you prepare for your own family and you talk about this situation that adult children are going to have with their elder parents, they need to buffalo up and have the conversations with their parents.
15:56.686 --> 15:59.247
[SPEAKER_02]: But have the conversation like this.
16:01.190 --> 16:19.186
[SPEAKER_02]: Have you considered what it would be like for me and whoever I'm married, whatever my spouse, but for me and our family, would it be like to take care of you for the rest of your life?
16:20.107 --> 16:21.708
[SPEAKER_02]: Have you considered that at all?
16:22.649 --> 16:24.390
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, you could get different answers.
16:24.450 --> 16:26.912
[SPEAKER_02]: My father said, you're my long-term care policy.
16:27.822 --> 16:28.822
[SPEAKER_01]: I've heard that before.
16:28.842 --> 16:29.423
[SPEAKER_01]: I have.
16:29.503 --> 16:35.185
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a friend who not to interrupt, but who said, well, my kids make plenty of money.
16:35.565 --> 16:37.126
[SPEAKER_01]: I know they'll be able to take care of me.
16:37.166 --> 16:44.129
[SPEAKER_01]: And my first answer to them and not being a financial advisor was, why would you want to take away the wealth that they built?
16:45.029 --> 16:46.050
[SPEAKER_01]: So please continue.
16:46.590 --> 16:47.190
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
16:47.250 --> 16:48.851
[SPEAKER_02]: And thank you for that interjection.
16:49.031 --> 16:49.711
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
16:49.731 --> 16:56.054
[SPEAKER_02]: It's, it's just, I don't know.
16:57.356 --> 17:11.709
[SPEAKER_02]: If there's a relationship there, and you're having that conversation about, I love you and I want to take care of you, but I want to take care of you better and longer.
17:13.251 --> 17:15.553
[SPEAKER_02]: Can we figure out how to do that together?
17:17.735 --> 17:19.336
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the way to approach it.
17:20.037 --> 17:20.978
[SPEAKER_02]: You lead with love.
17:22.079 --> 17:23.240
[SPEAKER_02]: If you lead with love,
17:24.839 --> 17:33.302
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that is a better way to approach these kinds of conversations because at the end of the day, you're doing it for self-preservation.
17:35.302 --> 17:40.504
[SPEAKER_02]: And that has to be talked about, and people need to just go into that storm and do it.
17:41.524 --> 17:47.466
[SPEAKER_02]: Because if they run away from the storm, the pain and suffering is going to be longer.
17:49.271 --> 17:51.112
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, yes, I would agree.
17:51.272 --> 18:00.437
[SPEAKER_01]: And I really appreciate how you shared how families can start that conversation about long-term care without feeling overwhelming and intrusive.
18:01.118 --> 18:10.083
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think that's what people do feel is intrusive and greedy or I don't know, but there's nothing to do with that.
18:10.343 --> 18:13.625
[SPEAKER_02]: It has to do with love and making sure that money doesn't destroy that.
18:15.187 --> 18:16.167
[SPEAKER_02]: That makes sense, right?
18:17.288 --> 18:28.791
[SPEAKER_02]: And the other thing I would say is make sure that all of your life insurance is in order, your beneficiary designations are in order, all of these things are so important to talk about.
18:28.811 --> 18:38.734
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't tell you how many times people just push it away, push it away, and something bad happens, they're just completely lost.
18:38.854 --> 18:41.815
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not okay, and it's so avoidable.
18:43.048 --> 18:45.210
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, the sadness and the grief is enough.
18:47.371 --> 18:49.133
[SPEAKER_02]: The work that it takes, it's enough.
18:49.933 --> 18:50.634
[SPEAKER_02]: That's enough.
18:51.475 --> 18:55.218
[SPEAKER_02]: Why do I have to put in the money strain on top of it?
18:56.659 --> 19:03.304
[SPEAKER_02]: Be responsible, take accountability, speak up, and just have these important conversations.
19:06.399 --> 19:07.840
[SPEAKER_01]: This is such great advice.
19:08.280 --> 19:12.723
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to remind our viewers to follow us on Instagram and here on YouTube.
19:13.123 --> 19:15.744
[SPEAKER_01]: And you'll no doubt want to learn more about Abbey Large.
19:16.064 --> 19:23.108
[SPEAKER_01]: So please go to the description box below and we'll share more links to follow her and get information on today's topic.
19:26.790 --> 19:35.035
[SPEAKER_01]: What are some of the other common financial pitfalls families faced during these same years and how can they be avoided?
19:38.672 --> 19:40.753
[SPEAKER_01]: What kind of pitfalls do you mean?
19:42.393 --> 19:58.000
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I really appreciate the fact that you brought up life insurance, long-term care, and I'd love for you to expand more on how that plays in protecting families from financial strain during this stage and even beyond.
19:58.580 --> 19:58.780
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure.
19:59.833 --> 20:03.454
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, there's three phases of everyone's financial life, right?
20:03.494 --> 20:10.016
[SPEAKER_02]: There's the accumulation phase, and then there's the distribution phase, and then there's the preservation phase.
20:10.276 --> 20:22.119
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, the accumulation phase, your young, you're just starting your family, starting your career, your accumulating assets, accumulating, you know, real estate, whatever you're doing, you're just accumulating.
20:23.185 --> 20:25.025
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a long stretch of your life.
20:25.325 --> 20:31.086
[SPEAKER_02]: And it could be, I don't know, like forever, if you're not saving enough.
20:31.266 --> 20:35.647
[SPEAKER_02]: But in accumulation phase is where you need to protect your income.
20:37.067 --> 20:39.948
[SPEAKER_02]: Because your income is the most important asset that you have.
20:41.108 --> 20:50.410
[SPEAKER_02]: And most people don't realize this, but your chances of becoming sick or hurt during your working years is far greater than you die.
20:52.227 --> 20:52.727
[SPEAKER_02]: far greater.
20:52.767 --> 21:10.241
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, I'm in, I, I, I write a lot of insurance on a lot of my clients and I'm going, and I've been doing this for three decades and I'm going to tell you that from my experience, I have more people on a disability claim than I have paid out death claims way more really.
21:10.261 --> 21:10.922
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
21:12.103 --> 21:12.383
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
21:12.823 --> 21:16.546
[SPEAKER_02]: So disability insurance protecting that paycheck number one.
21:18.448 --> 21:18.848
[SPEAKER_02]: Wills.
21:20.309 --> 21:20.990
[SPEAKER_02]: When you turn,
21:21.841 --> 21:25.282
[SPEAKER_02]: majority age eighteen twenty one in some states.
21:27.924 --> 21:30.525
[SPEAKER_02]: You are responsible for yourself no one else can speak for you.
21:31.925 --> 21:43.370
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you if you're in a car accident and you're like out and and you you kid who who's going to make medical decisions for you who's going to write a check for you who's going to call a credit card company for you.
21:44.323 --> 21:45.584
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to have a power of attorney.
21:46.224 --> 21:47.725
[SPEAKER_02]: You have to have a health care proxy.
21:47.745 --> 21:49.166
[SPEAKER_02]: And you have to have a will.
21:49.986 --> 21:53.428
[SPEAKER_02]: Because the minute you own an asset, it's probatable.
21:54.748 --> 21:56.449
[SPEAKER_02]: So there are ways to avoid probate.
21:57.670 --> 22:02.793
[SPEAKER_02]: But a will with a health care proxy and power of attorney really, really important.
22:04.033 --> 22:08.876
[SPEAKER_02]: And those documents will change over time because your relationships change over time.
22:08.996 --> 22:10.477
[SPEAKER_02]: So make sure that you review them.
22:11.619 --> 22:12.339
[SPEAKER_02]: every few years.
22:12.940 --> 22:13.880
[SPEAKER_02]: That's really important.
22:14.541 --> 22:16.242
[SPEAKER_02]: Now we get into the distribution phase.
22:16.502 --> 22:18.843
[SPEAKER_02]: We're like, okay, kind of had enough.
22:19.884 --> 22:24.326
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're, you know, you want to like, maybe you have a halftime report.
22:24.366 --> 22:29.069
[SPEAKER_02]: You're doing something your passion project and your distributing assets.
22:30.570 --> 22:33.652
[SPEAKER_02]: It's more dangerous to take money out than it
22:35.925 --> 22:44.168
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just more dangerous because you're still subject to all the systematic risk that's out there during accumulation phase.
22:44.548 --> 22:49.949
[SPEAKER_02]: Market risk, interest rate risk, inflation risk, all of these risks, but there's one major piece that's missing.
22:50.329 --> 22:50.930
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what that is?
22:51.670 --> 22:51.850
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
22:52.430 --> 22:52.930
[SPEAKER_02]: You're income.
22:55.031 --> 22:55.311
[SPEAKER_02]: Right?
22:56.491 --> 22:57.892
[SPEAKER_02]: Your income is missing.
22:59.192 --> 23:02.513
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you're taking money out in a down market,
23:04.580 --> 23:06.541
[SPEAKER_02]: that could wreak havoc on the portfolio.
23:06.681 --> 23:08.121
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, forget it.
23:08.642 --> 23:14.644
[SPEAKER_02]: I remember in two thousand eight, there were clients that had to go back to work because they got decimated.
23:16.324 --> 23:20.666
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's very important to understand that there are three buckets.
23:22.586 --> 23:30.551
[SPEAKER_02]: when you're investing and putting away money, you're accumulating money, you've got your taxable, your tax deferred, and your tax freeze.
23:30.591 --> 23:31.411
[SPEAKER_02]: These are the buckets.
23:31.591 --> 23:40.196
[SPEAKER_02]: And depending on what the world is doing in any given moment, in any given time, where are you going to take that money from in a tax efficient way?
23:40.377 --> 23:43.859
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's where the financial advisor comes in, right?
23:44.699 --> 23:45.400
[SPEAKER_02]: Because it's
23:46.377 --> 23:49.760
[SPEAKER_02]: Look, everyone, this is not everyone's thing, right?
23:50.321 --> 23:51.702
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's my thing.
23:52.143 --> 23:55.786
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's people out there that are trained to do this thing.
23:55.967 --> 23:58.870
[SPEAKER_02]: So, speak to an advisor.
23:58.910 --> 24:00.031
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I would say.
24:00.832 --> 24:01.773
[SPEAKER_02]: Having said all that,
24:02.880 --> 24:25.559
[SPEAKER_02]: you're living your life and you're doing all these things and now you want to pass your wealth to the next generation in a tax efficient manner and that's the preservation phase where you're preserving those assets so I help people accumulation distribution preservation all phases of life and with regard to insurance and estate planning and investments and all of those things that you've involved.
24:27.701 --> 24:33.068
[SPEAKER_02]: And really, for me, it's about building clients that matter.
24:33.789 --> 24:42.060
[SPEAKER_02]: Relationships that matter and then I will have that client for life because the relationship matters to me because we're constantly reviewing things, right?
24:42.681 --> 24:44.724
[SPEAKER_02]: So I would say,
24:45.805 --> 24:48.228
[SPEAKER_02]: financially speaking, those are the three phases.
24:48.248 --> 25:03.966
[SPEAKER_02]: The things that you need from a very high level, but I would absolutely say to find a financial advisor that you're comfortable with and that you trust to help you through and navigate all these phases of life and in a trusted CPA and a trusted estate attorney.
25:05.490 --> 25:06.871
[SPEAKER_01]: This is such great advice.
25:07.552 --> 25:23.264
[SPEAKER_01]: I imagine during the accumulation phase, or maybe it's distribution, please share light on this, where does saving for children's college education while also planning for your own retirement and supporting your parents?
25:23.725 --> 25:26.827
[SPEAKER_01]: How does that fit into the three buckets?
25:29.509 --> 25:30.290
[SPEAKER_02]: It will depend.
25:31.411 --> 25:32.212
[SPEAKER_02]: It will depend.
25:33.573 --> 25:35.094
[SPEAKER_02]: And I cannot give a blanket answer.
25:36.316 --> 25:36.976
[SPEAKER_02]: I understand.
25:37.276 --> 25:37.976
[SPEAKER_02]: It depends.
25:39.957 --> 25:49.018
[SPEAKER_02]: The point is that you have to sit down and look at everything, the inflows, the outflows, what your priorities are, what your goals are, what your timeline is.
25:49.278 --> 25:50.158
[SPEAKER_02]: It depends.
25:50.879 --> 25:52.519
[SPEAKER_02]: And everyone's different.
25:54.339 --> 26:04.661
[SPEAKER_02]: But when I will say this, the takeaway here is, I'm not going to give you the answers, but you've got to sit down and talk it through so that you can get to the answers.
26:05.832 --> 26:06.732
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I will say.
26:07.512 --> 26:09.013
[SPEAKER_02]: It's important not to ignore it.
26:09.853 --> 26:20.896
[SPEAKER_02]: If you know that you're facing education costs, mortgage costs, lifestyle costs, and your parents costs, you need to sit down with someone.
26:21.516 --> 26:23.017
[SPEAKER_02]: You can't, it's overwhelming.
26:23.577 --> 26:31.939
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's what most people feel is this sense of overwhelming stress and anxiety in how are we going to do this?
26:33.938 --> 26:36.981
[SPEAKER_02]: It's okay to pick up the phone and call someone and say, I need help.
26:38.582 --> 26:47.171
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what you need is just to get a plan and just to map it out and be transparent and accountable and committed to doing it.
26:47.911 --> 26:48.532
[SPEAKER_02]: Setting goals.
26:50.213 --> 26:51.114
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what I would say.
26:51.375 --> 26:52.015
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't ignore it.
26:52.195 --> 26:53.176
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't push it to the side.
26:53.196 --> 26:54.137
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't sweep it under the rug.
26:55.659 --> 26:55.979
[SPEAKER_02]: Face it.
26:58.664 --> 27:00.805
[SPEAKER_01]: There's so much that goes into adulting.
27:01.425 --> 27:04.307
[SPEAKER_01]: I really appreciate all of the knowledge that you've shared.
27:04.907 --> 27:10.970
[SPEAKER_01]: First, we're thinking about careers and jobs and making money and then how to take care of everyone else.
27:11.671 --> 27:15.593
[SPEAKER_01]: So what's the best way to pass this knowledge on to children?
27:15.993 --> 27:19.635
[SPEAKER_01]: How do we teach children about financial responsibility?
27:21.996 --> 27:23.217
[SPEAKER_02]: By leading by example.
27:26.673 --> 27:29.814
[SPEAKER_02]: that is my final answer on that, leading by example.
27:30.794 --> 27:42.178
[SPEAKER_02]: And having an open and honest communicative relationship with your spouse and your children at the same time, know that this is a family thing.
27:43.279 --> 27:53.502
[SPEAKER_02]: When they're young, you can get that piggy bank and you can give them a little allowance and do I had never tied the allowance in with performance
27:54.660 --> 27:55.341
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, okay.
27:55.401 --> 27:56.782
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'd love to hear more about that.
27:58.424 --> 27:58.724
[SPEAKER_02]: Never.
28:00.125 --> 28:10.495
[SPEAKER_02]: If, if my child performed, meaning did they pick up their room, did they do the chores in the house, did they do well in school, did they did great on a test?
28:11.056 --> 28:14.419
[SPEAKER_02]: I reward them with love and pride.
28:16.742 --> 28:17.883
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I reward them with.
28:19.853 --> 28:40.055
[SPEAKER_02]: but money that is a totally different animal and if you tie the two together that is unhealthy it's unhealthy because you're missing the part that what money is supposed to do right you're supposed to save the money you're supposed to spend the money you're supposed to
28:41.198 --> 29:07.692
[SPEAKER_02]: donate the money you're supposed to invest the money like those are the things you have to teach children that money is therefore and they get an allowance and they have to figure it that out all four things figure that out and when when they fall and they make a mistake there's your moment take it to talk to them about that because children learn when they experience things it's a one that no different than adults
29:08.594 --> 29:10.115
[SPEAKER_02]: We learn from experience.
29:10.756 --> 29:13.878
[SPEAKER_02]: That's what failing forward is, right?
29:14.158 --> 29:16.160
[SPEAKER_02]: I asked my daughter a long time.
29:16.200 --> 29:20.863
[SPEAKER_02]: I said, what would you do in your life if you could never fail?
29:21.264 --> 29:23.365
[SPEAKER_02]: If you couldn't fail at anything, what would you do?
29:24.706 --> 29:26.227
[SPEAKER_02]: She said, I wouldn't get very far.
29:28.229 --> 29:30.591
[SPEAKER_02]: I was blown away by that answer.
29:31.271 --> 29:34.394
[SPEAKER_02]: And so failing forward is so important for children.
29:35.527 --> 29:41.754
[SPEAKER_02]: And when it happens, under your roof, which you only have eighteen years to do, that's it.
29:41.814 --> 29:42.255
[SPEAKER_02]: You're done.
29:43.577 --> 29:44.277
[SPEAKER_02]: Under your roof.
29:45.845 --> 29:49.526
[SPEAKER_02]: make the mistakes, have them make those mistakes, talk to them about it.
29:49.606 --> 30:00.750
[SPEAKER_02]: We just had something happen last night with my youngest daughter and we sat at the dinner table and we had dinner together and let me, I'm going to plug this into, have dinner together and often.
30:01.530 --> 30:14.795
[SPEAKER_02]: Because if I didn't have dinner, if I didn't force my kids, everyone to come to the table for dinner last night, I wouldn't have known about a situation that we needed, that was important to talk about and, and she learned a lesson.
30:16.637 --> 30:40.835
[SPEAKER_02]: dinner together and often not a TV dinner we you know sometimes I'm I'm gonna I'll be honest I just don't feel like talking and I want to just watch the news and eat my dinner yes you gotta force yourself to sit at the table sit at the table I don't care how's your day tell me two truths I mean one lie just tell me about it something I have to guess which one you're lying about like just say
30:43.197 --> 30:49.001
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's what I would say during the younger accumulation years when you're raising a family.
30:50.402 --> 30:58.108
[SPEAKER_02]: When they start to get into the teenage years and their allowance has become greater.
30:59.730 --> 31:02.831
[SPEAKER_02]: That's going to be when you're going to have a lot of conversations, right?
31:02.891 --> 31:07.212
[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to be starting up talking about investing and what funds to put it in.
31:07.272 --> 31:11.233
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're talking about interest rates and inflation and taxes.
31:11.253 --> 31:13.013
[SPEAKER_02]: You're watching the news with your kids now.
31:13.073 --> 31:14.113
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like it's different.
31:14.133 --> 31:14.614
[SPEAKER_02]: It shifts.
31:15.374 --> 31:19.615
[SPEAKER_02]: But one of the things we did with our kids was, I have to say it was brilliant.
31:20.915 --> 31:24.616
[SPEAKER_02]: We were tired of planning these family vacations that we used to take.
31:25.716 --> 31:28.937
[SPEAKER_02]: So we gave the job to the kids and we said, here's your budget.
31:30.459 --> 31:33.880
[SPEAKER_02]: choose three different places that you think you want to go to.
31:34.140 --> 31:41.142
[SPEAKER_02]: Choose the excursions, the hotels, the flights, the restaurant, everything, soup to nuts.
31:42.143 --> 31:46.644
[SPEAKER_02]: Then presented to us and we'll decide as a family which one we want to go to.
31:46.804 --> 31:48.405
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so they did all that.
31:49.494 --> 31:53.279
[SPEAKER_02]: and we decided on a trip, and I kid you not, we just showed up.
31:54.180 --> 32:00.427
[SPEAKER_02]: And they were responsible for everything, and here's what it taught them, which is blows my mind to this day.
32:00.707 --> 32:01.348
[SPEAKER_02]: It taught them
32:02.498 --> 32:03.598
[SPEAKER_02]: and how to communicate together.
32:04.578 --> 32:07.159
[SPEAKER_02]: It taught them how to negotiate together.
32:07.479 --> 32:14.141
[SPEAKER_02]: It taught them what things really cost, and if you're late for them, you still have to pay for them.
32:14.601 --> 32:16.541
[SPEAKER_02]: And what that feels like, right?
32:17.261 --> 32:24.263
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what that money bought, they felt it because they were actually doing out the money and experiencing it at the same time.
32:24.383 --> 32:25.903
[SPEAKER_02]: And they experienced it together.
32:25.983 --> 32:28.424
[SPEAKER_02]: So they were able to talk about it too, right?
32:28.484 --> 32:31.365
[SPEAKER_02]: They were talking about, well, that was a waste of barb money or whatever.
32:32.666 --> 32:34.050
[SPEAKER_02]: They felt it.
32:35.174 --> 32:38.966
[SPEAKER_02]: But the biggest thing I think they learned to do is to do it together.
32:40.581 --> 32:43.263
[SPEAKER_02]: and discuss the money together.
32:43.283 --> 32:49.368
[SPEAKER_01]: Abby, I love your idea of having the children plan the family vacation.
32:49.808 --> 32:58.515
[SPEAKER_01]: Years ago, when the kids were still living at home in young, we decided at Christmas time that we were no longer gonna do all the presents.
32:59.036 --> 33:01.938
[SPEAKER_01]: And we decided to create what we called Christmas memories.
33:02.398 --> 33:07.042
[SPEAKER_01]: But the funny story is the first time we actually went to Atlantis
33:07.562 --> 33:11.786
[SPEAKER_01]: which I don't know if you've ever been, but it can be very expensive.
33:12.206 --> 33:16.730
[SPEAKER_01]: So the next year we went to a little more budget from the vacation.
33:17.170 --> 33:20.092
[SPEAKER_01]: And my son, we asked him, how do you like this?
33:20.653 --> 33:21.333
[SPEAKER_01]: How's it going?
33:21.373 --> 33:27.418
[SPEAKER_01]: And he looked at my husband and I and he said, this is great, but I could go to Atlanta every year.
33:27.839 --> 33:32.783
[SPEAKER_01]: And we just laughed because he had no idea the difference in cost.
33:33.423 --> 33:36.244
[SPEAKER_01]: What a gem you taught your children.
33:36.544 --> 33:40.324
[SPEAKER_01]: And I hope others that are listening are paying attention to that too.
33:40.344 --> 33:41.545
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that story.
33:41.565 --> 33:42.265
[SPEAKER_01]: That's funny.
33:44.065 --> 33:47.406
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I have to say we covered so much ground.
33:47.866 --> 33:56.287
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to thank you for all your savvy advice, your examples of what you you chose and did with your own family personally.
33:57.427 --> 33:58.268
[SPEAKER_02]: You're quite welcome.
33:58.308 --> 34:00.108
[SPEAKER_02]: It was really fun and thank you for having me.
34:00.926 --> 34:06.749
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope all of you will have lots of positive takeaways and how to build healthy money habits.
34:07.209 --> 34:12.232
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you'd like to our conversation, please like and subscribe to Growing Up with Dr. Sarah.
34:12.552 --> 34:16.014
[SPEAKER_01]: So others like you raising families can find this episode.
34:16.454 --> 34:21.397
[SPEAKER_01]: Until next time, I'm Dr. Sarah Adams and let's grow up together.
00:00.131 --> 00:06.975
[SPEAKER_02]: Open transparency communication is really, really important to figure out who's paying for what, who's saving for what, when are we going to do this?
00:07.615 --> 00:08.736
[SPEAKER_02]: What's the budget for this?
00:09.416 --> 00:10.817
[SPEAKER_02]: It's about open communication.
00:10.957 --> 00:12.038
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so, so important.
00:12.218 --> 00:19.462
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm going to plug in in this moment that that conversation is amazing for children to witness.
00:21.866 --> 00:26.028
[SPEAKER_00]: Are you raising your family while also feeling like you're still growing out yourself?
00:26.689 --> 00:28.890
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you wonder if you are getting it right?
00:29.250 --> 00:33.013
[SPEAKER_00]: Or do you ask, where's the roadmap to building a happy healthy life?
00:33.633 --> 00:36.014
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to Growing Up with Dr. Sarah.
00:36.435 --> 00:40.217
[SPEAKER_00]: She's a pediatrician and a mom, and she helps the whole family.
00:40.837 --> 00:46.682
[SPEAKER_01]: Hi, I'm Dr. Sarah Adams, a board certified pediatrician, but I'm not your pediatrician.
00:47.122 --> 00:55.889
[SPEAKER_01]: Feel free to use my podcast as helpful information, but in no way do I intend my podcast to replace the advice of your physician.
00:56.369 --> 01:01.213
[SPEAKER_01]: Your physician knows you and is in the best position to provide medical advice.
01:10.422 --> 01:12.823
[SPEAKER_01]: So much goes into raising healthy children.
01:13.224 --> 01:17.506
[SPEAKER_01]: But what about making sure your children have a healthy relationship to money?
01:18.147 --> 01:18.547
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome.
01:18.647 --> 01:22.409
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm Dr. Sarah Adams, and today I'm growing up with Dr. Sarah.
01:22.849 --> 01:29.813
[SPEAKER_01]: I have with me professional money manager and advisor Abbey Large, the Managing Director at Linux Advisors.
01:30.194 --> 01:30.934
[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome, Abbey.
01:31.975 --> 01:33.275
[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for having me, Sarah.
01:34.056 --> 01:37.658
[SPEAKER_01]: Abbey, I'm so happy to have you here today, so much
01:38.101 --> 01:45.103
[SPEAKER_01]: to get to especially when we, as parents, think about how to balance career growth and family responsibilities.
01:45.963 --> 01:51.944
[SPEAKER_01]: So many parents feel torn between advancing their careers and being present for their families.
01:52.404 --> 01:55.145
[SPEAKER_01]: What financial strategies can help ease that tension?
01:58.166 --> 02:00.806
[SPEAKER_02]: Financial strategies or life strategies?
02:01.047 --> 02:02.767
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm open to both.
02:05.225 --> 02:11.210
[SPEAKER_02]: I think it's really important to surround yourself with people that support you and believe in you.
02:12.972 --> 02:18.937
[SPEAKER_02]: Because if you don't have that support, it's nearly impossible in my humble opinion.
02:18.957 --> 02:29.167
[SPEAKER_02]: I have incredible, I surround myself with incredibly strong, resilient, committed, trustworthy,
02:30.067 --> 02:31.528
[SPEAKER_02]: successful people.
02:32.249 --> 02:42.096
[SPEAKER_02]: And I have always made that my goal when I first started in this business thirty one years ago was to surround myself with people that were more successful than me, always.
02:43.437 --> 02:44.358
[SPEAKER_02]: And I saw them out.
02:46.532 --> 02:49.334
[SPEAKER_02]: Those people that are successful understand what it takes.
02:49.534 --> 02:53.277
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a heavy lift and you can't do it alone.
02:53.878 --> 02:58.001
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're doing it alone, it's super super super, super challenging.
02:59.402 --> 03:07.829
[SPEAKER_02]: And self doubt creeps in because all that stuff creeps in regardless, but when you're going at it by yourself, it's not okay.
03:09.110 --> 03:17.817
[SPEAKER_02]: So Lennox advisors is probably a big, I have to, I have to give a shout out to the people that are there.
03:18.197 --> 03:22.921
[SPEAKER_02]: I do because without them, there is no bloody way that I would be where I am today.
03:23.141 --> 03:24.222
[SPEAKER_02]: There's just hands down.
03:24.242 --> 03:27.844
[SPEAKER_02]: I have an extremely supportive husband.
03:28.821 --> 03:39.112
[SPEAKER_02]: who believes in me and again, the believing part is the big thing because people go through their life and the more that they succeed, believe it or not, the more self-doubt they get.
03:40.765 --> 03:41.946
[SPEAKER_02]: It's imposter syndrome.
03:42.507 --> 03:44.448
[SPEAKER_02]: I've been talking about that a lot lately.
03:45.569 --> 03:49.492
[SPEAKER_02]: Because you fight to get to where you need to be and succeed.
03:49.512 --> 03:52.155
[SPEAKER_02]: And then once you get there, it's different.
03:54.497 --> 03:58.480
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're a mom and the kid gets sick, you're going to the doctor.
03:59.581 --> 04:07.688
[SPEAKER_02]: If you need to pick up your child needs to be picked up at school in the middle of the day, you're dropping your stuff and you're going to pick them up.
04:09.365 --> 04:16.489
[SPEAKER_02]: Having said that, there are other things that fall on us, like laundry and dishes and cleaning.
04:16.749 --> 04:26.295
[SPEAKER_02]: And these are the things that don't involve a child or can involve a child by letting them do it because they're part of a community.
04:26.435 --> 04:29.997
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's a whole other topic in and up itself, which I will touch on.
04:31.437 --> 04:37.601
[SPEAKER_02]: But the support in your family is so important because if they don't support you,
04:40.794 --> 04:45.517
[SPEAKER_02]: If the dishes are in the dishwasher, they need to do it as being part of the community.
04:45.758 --> 04:53.383
[SPEAKER_02]: If the laundry is piled up, my kids learned how to do their own laundry by default because I wasn't doing it.
04:53.403 --> 05:02.509
[SPEAKER_02]: And now having said all this, you have people that support you in the house with your chores, et cetera, et cetera, but you can also hire someone.
05:03.730 --> 05:08.153
[SPEAKER_02]: If you're working really hard and you're making the money, you need to invest
05:09.023 --> 05:12.864
[SPEAKER_02]: in your business, but your business is also in your home.
05:13.824 --> 05:22.046
[SPEAKER_02]: So I felt it was really important to invest in my business and hire people to do these things that took away my energy and my time.
05:24.726 --> 05:32.768
[SPEAKER_02]: And the more energy and time that I got back, the more successful I became because my energies were projected in the right spot.
05:35.370 --> 05:47.483
[SPEAKER_02]: So if you're investing in yourself by hiring an assistant, by hiring people to help you in your business, you got to lump in the personal part of that because that is part of your business also.
05:51.252 --> 05:52.514
[SPEAKER_02]: I wouldn't say it's an expense.
05:52.554 --> 05:53.695
[SPEAKER_02]: I would say it's an investment.
05:54.796 --> 05:55.958
[SPEAKER_02]: It's an investment in your self.
05:56.218 --> 05:59.141
[SPEAKER_02]: It's an investment in making you not go cray cray.
05:59.942 --> 06:08.953
[SPEAKER_02]: It's an investment in making sure that your children are being raised by a mother who is like calm and cool and elected most of the time.
06:10.114 --> 06:11.315
[SPEAKER_02]: But the point is that
06:13.680 --> 06:22.402
[SPEAKER_02]: The point of this is you need to surround yourself with people that believe in you, support you, can challenge you, can be honest with you.
06:24.742 --> 06:27.503
[SPEAKER_02]: And you need to believe in yourself and invest in yourself.
06:28.603 --> 06:33.544
[SPEAKER_02]: And that means investing in whatever you need at home to take care of that job, too, because it's job.
06:34.744 --> 06:36.605
[SPEAKER_02]: It's a job at home, but it's a job nonetheless.
06:37.385 --> 06:41.726
[SPEAKER_01]: I appreciate your answers so much, especially, you know, we've all heard that
06:42.303 --> 06:45.265
[SPEAKER_01]: comment about it takes a village and I truly believe in that.
06:45.585 --> 06:51.810
[SPEAKER_01]: But it sounds like Abby, you have a great team in your office and a great team at home.
06:52.290 --> 07:07.161
[SPEAKER_01]: And I really appreciate those comments because I think sometimes at least for me, it was hard to give up some of those responsibilities, but it made it impossible to try to be present for both when I was at work as well as at home.
07:08.243 --> 07:18.406
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, with families, they're really trying to prioritize their financial planning, but they're also juggling those high costs of child care and extracurricular activities.
07:18.766 --> 07:21.987
[SPEAKER_01]: How can families juggle those?
07:24.228 --> 07:25.428
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, you have to budget.
07:26.708 --> 07:28.869
[SPEAKER_02]: And most families don't even know what they spend in a month.
07:29.609 --> 07:30.269
[SPEAKER_02]: They just spend.
07:31.290 --> 07:32.390
[SPEAKER_02]: But it's important to budget.
07:33.962 --> 07:37.543
[SPEAKER_02]: And I give my clients cash flow a cash flow analysis.
07:37.864 --> 07:39.044
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, what are the inflows?
07:39.064 --> 07:39.964
[SPEAKER_02]: What are the outflows?
07:40.185 --> 07:41.725
[SPEAKER_02]: What can you tail back?
07:41.805 --> 07:42.946
[SPEAKER_02]: What do you really need?
07:43.006 --> 07:43.586
[SPEAKER_02]: What do you want?
07:43.626 --> 07:44.866
[SPEAKER_02]: There are wants and there are needs.
07:45.987 --> 07:47.627
[SPEAKER_02]: So it's about recalibrating.
07:47.988 --> 07:50.068
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you need to pivot, that's what we do.
07:51.489 --> 07:56.631
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, but that's the first step is to get a grasp of the cash flow.
07:58.469 --> 08:04.063
[SPEAKER_02]: and figure out your priorities and maybe list them in order.
08:07.304 --> 08:18.508
[SPEAKER_02]: And just like I said, we calibrate the income to figure out how you can pivot and project what where the monies are spent best.
08:19.128 --> 08:25.570
[SPEAKER_02]: Because it's interesting, you know, people don't realize that I get this a lot with people that I mentor.
08:25.910 --> 08:27.051
[SPEAKER_02]: Am I, do you have an assistant?
08:27.071 --> 08:28.771
[SPEAKER_02]: They're like, no, I can't afford it.
08:28.931 --> 08:30.812
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm like, you can't afford not to have one.
08:32.212 --> 08:33.613
[SPEAKER_02]: Because you don't realize that
08:35.085 --> 08:45.694
[SPEAKER_02]: When you're given the space and energy and opportunity to hone in on your superpower, that's going to make you money, right?
08:45.894 --> 08:48.776
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the name of the career, right?
08:49.377 --> 08:49.637
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
08:51.459 --> 08:56.363
[SPEAKER_02]: Get all the obstacles out of the way so that you could just focus on that.
08:57.344 --> 09:02.468
[SPEAKER_02]: And the more you invest back into your business, the more successful you will become.
09:03.544 --> 09:08.449
[SPEAKER_02]: because you're not bogged down doing all the things that you don't have superpowers on.
09:09.610 --> 09:19.239
[SPEAKER_02]: So find people that have superpowers with the things that you hate to do, and that take and suck up your time and energy, right?
09:19.679 --> 09:20.000
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
09:20.680 --> 09:25.585
[SPEAKER_02]: And focus on what you do best, find out what your superpower is, and that's what that's your lane.
09:25.725 --> 09:26.366
[SPEAKER_02]: Stay in your lane.
09:27.026 --> 09:28.408
[SPEAKER_02]: And a lot of people don't stay in their lane.
09:29.955 --> 09:35.818
[SPEAKER_02]: And it causes anxiety and frustration and exhaustion and all of these things.
09:36.158 --> 09:38.319
[SPEAKER_02]: And then you wonder why, like, what's happening?
09:38.879 --> 09:39.920
[SPEAKER_02]: It's because you're not in your lane.
09:42.221 --> 09:44.582
[SPEAKER_01]: And so many families are dual income.
09:45.322 --> 09:52.626
[SPEAKER_01]: What are some effective strategies for managing finances together, what will maintaining individual financial goals?
09:53.746 --> 09:56.908
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe some parents have different priorities, as you mentioned.
09:58.718 --> 10:00.978
[SPEAKER_02]: A dual income household is wonderful.
10:01.539 --> 10:05.599
[SPEAKER_02]: The first thing I would say is make sure you have disability income insurance.
10:06.860 --> 10:07.720
[SPEAKER_02]: Protect the paycheck.
10:09.480 --> 10:27.104
[SPEAKER_02]: Really important because if you're relying on two household incomes to spend your household expenses on a monthly basis and also save for retirement, save for children's education, buying a home, whatever it is,
10:29.107 --> 10:30.708
[SPEAKER_02]: That's really important to do.
10:32.129 --> 10:46.799
[SPEAKER_02]: The other part that I would say about a dual household income is to sit down together and figure out who's responsible for what and it might be what you like to do, what do you like best out of this list to take care of, to take control of.
10:47.859 --> 10:49.680
[SPEAKER_02]: to be responsible for, accountable for.
10:50.360 --> 11:16.771
[SPEAKER_02]: And, you know, maybe it's once a month or once a week, you come together again and say, this is what I did, you know, you have a list of things to do and a list of what I have found is what has been, he writes a honey do list for me and as opposed to like just projectile telling me when he's thinking about it and I'm like working or thinking about something else because when you're in a dual income household, both parents have careers, both people have careers.
11:17.271 --> 11:22.601
[SPEAKER_02]: and they're thinking about their careers during the day or night or whatever it is.
11:24.811 --> 11:49.091
[SPEAKER_02]: being organized with your to do's and your you know your thoughts and your feelings with your spouse financially is very important to put into a list and then when you're both in a good space sit down and just discuss it so that you can be on the same page open transparency communication is really really important to figure out who's paying for what who's saving for what when are we going to do this what's the budget for this
11:49.812 --> 11:51.213
[SPEAKER_02]: It's about open communication.
11:51.353 --> 11:52.434
[SPEAKER_02]: It's so, so important.
11:52.634 --> 11:59.899
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm going to plug in in this moment that that conversation is amazing for children to witness.
12:01.640 --> 12:02.000
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay.
12:02.481 --> 12:09.005
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't lock yourselves up and discuss money is important for your children to hear about often.
12:10.246 --> 12:11.907
[SPEAKER_02]: Often because.
12:13.712 --> 12:20.723
[SPEAKER_02]: The first question I'll tell you, the first question I ask my clients when I'm doing a discovery meeting or a fact-find call, right?
12:21.544 --> 12:26.011
[SPEAKER_02]: Tell me about how you were raised with money, with your parents.
12:26.432 --> 12:27.513
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what was that like?
12:29.746 --> 12:35.791
[SPEAKER_02]: And it's a really important question because so many people are not exposed to money at an early age.
12:36.231 --> 12:37.672
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't know how to handle the money.
12:37.792 --> 12:49.462
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm dealing with a lot of high network people, a lot of high network clients that are doing a lot of estate planning, they're doing all the tax planning, they're doing all the stuff so that they can pass a lot of money to their airs.
12:50.530 --> 12:55.817
[SPEAKER_02]: But the real question is, once you pass the money to the airs, do they know what to do with it?
12:55.877 --> 12:57.359
[SPEAKER_02]: Do they know how to handle the money?
12:57.799 --> 12:59.362
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's really, really important.
12:59.742 --> 13:06.351
[SPEAKER_02]: Do you know that money in generational wealth is usually gone by the third generation?
13:07.312 --> 13:08.774
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow, I did not know that.
13:09.183 --> 13:10.924
[SPEAKER_02]: It which is crazy if you think about it.
13:11.524 --> 13:14.685
[SPEAKER_02]: It dwindles down because people don't know how to handle it.
13:15.065 --> 13:16.186
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't know how to spend it.
13:16.226 --> 13:17.106
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't know how to save it.
13:17.126 --> 13:18.106
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't know how to invest it.
13:18.146 --> 13:19.247
[SPEAKER_02]: They don't know how to give it away.
13:19.267 --> 13:23.749
[SPEAKER_02]: And all of these things need to be taught at a very early age with a piggy bank.
13:24.969 --> 13:30.295
[SPEAKER_02]: have little slots saving, investing, giving away, you know, spending.
13:30.315 --> 13:35.560
[SPEAKER_02]: They need to understand how that dollar stretches and how to use it.
13:36.021 --> 13:40.346
[SPEAKER_02]: It's really important started out as early as infants.
13:41.967 --> 13:43.809
[SPEAKER_01]: And I definitely want to get to
13:44.769 --> 13:51.574
[SPEAKER_01]: the topic of children and teaching that financial literacy, but you brought up such a good point about generations.
13:52.034 --> 13:59.140
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think that we both share that passion of empowering the whole family's needs, especially as they evolve.
13:59.940 --> 14:11.529
[SPEAKER_01]: When we think about preparation necessary for those sandwich years, when many of us are taking care of children and our aging parents, what financial steps should parents take now
14:12.005 --> 14:17.609
[SPEAKER_01]: to prepare for those dual responsibilities of supporting kids and their aging parents.
14:17.849 --> 14:18.730
[SPEAKER_02]: Wonderful question.
14:18.770 --> 14:19.791
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you for asking it.
14:19.951 --> 14:23.653
[SPEAKER_02]: They need to buy long-term care insurance.
14:23.774 --> 14:24.414
[SPEAKER_02]: I'll repeat it.
14:24.734 --> 14:26.996
[SPEAKER_02]: Buy long-term care insurance.
14:27.496 --> 14:29.358
[SPEAKER_02]: I cannot tell you how important this is.
14:30.739 --> 14:33.481
[SPEAKER_02]: We are about to experience
14:34.861 --> 14:36.362
[SPEAKER_02]: a real problem in America.
14:36.903 --> 14:43.007
[SPEAKER_02]: People are living too long and they don't know how they have not planned.
14:43.047 --> 14:48.331
[SPEAKER_02]: They have not saved enough money to live longer than they anticipated.
14:48.351 --> 14:52.093
[SPEAKER_02]: This is a big problem.
14:52.113 --> 14:52.694
[SPEAKER_02]: It is.
14:54.335 --> 14:58.478
[SPEAKER_02]: So long-term care insurance can mitigate that risk.
14:59.464 --> 15:08.469
[SPEAKER_02]: All right, from you running out of money and just the burden will be placed on the kids.
15:09.250 --> 15:11.832
[SPEAKER_02]: No matter what, the burden will be placed on the kids.
15:12.512 --> 15:13.192
[SPEAKER_02]: No matter what.
15:14.933 --> 15:27.161
[SPEAKER_02]: And when there's money in play, when you remove that money conversation, then you can focus on what's really important, right?
15:27.621 --> 15:29.102
[SPEAKER_02]: Family and love.
15:30.775 --> 15:33.436
[SPEAKER_02]: Because money will tear a family apart.
15:33.876 --> 15:35.357
[SPEAKER_02]: It will break relationships.
15:35.657 --> 15:37.698
[SPEAKER_02]: It is just wow.
15:38.118 --> 15:39.799
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like wow.
15:41.459 --> 15:56.506
[SPEAKER_02]: But when you prepare for your own family and you talk about this situation that adult children are going to have with their elder parents, they need to buffalo up and have the conversations with their parents.
15:56.686 --> 15:59.247
[SPEAKER_02]: But have the conversation like this.
16:01.190 --> 16:19.186
[SPEAKER_02]: Have you considered what it would be like for me and whoever I'm married, whatever my spouse, but for me and our family, would it be like to take care of you for the rest of your life?
16:20.107 --> 16:21.708
[SPEAKER_02]: Have you considered that at all?
16:22.649 --> 16:24.390
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, you could get different answers.
16:24.450 --> 16:26.912
[SPEAKER_02]: My father said, you're my long-term care policy.
16:27.822 --> 16:28.822
[SPEAKER_01]: I've heard that before.
16:28.842 --> 16:29.423
[SPEAKER_01]: I have.
16:29.503 --> 16:35.185
[SPEAKER_01]: I had a friend who not to interrupt, but who said, well, my kids make plenty of money.
16:35.565 --> 16:37.126
[SPEAKER_01]: I know they'll be able to take care of me.
16:37.166 --> 16:44.129
[SPEAKER_01]: And my first answer to them and not being a financial advisor was, why would you want to take away the wealth that they built?
16:45.029 --> 16:46.050
[SPEAKER_01]: So please continue.
16:46.590 --> 16:47.190
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
16:47.250 --> 16:48.851
[SPEAKER_02]: And thank you for that interjection.
16:49.031 --> 16:49.711
[SPEAKER_02]: Absolutely.
16:49.731 --> 16:56.054
[SPEAKER_02]: It's, it's just, I don't know.
16:57.356 --> 17:11.709
[SPEAKER_02]: If there's a relationship there, and you're having that conversation about, I love you and I want to take care of you, but I want to take care of you better and longer.
17:13.251 --> 17:15.553
[SPEAKER_02]: Can we figure out how to do that together?
17:17.735 --> 17:19.336
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the way to approach it.
17:20.037 --> 17:20.978
[SPEAKER_02]: You lead with love.
17:22.079 --> 17:23.240
[SPEAKER_02]: If you lead with love,
17:24.839 --> 17:33.302
[SPEAKER_02]: I think that is a better way to approach these kinds of conversations because at the end of the day, you're doing it for self-preservation.
17:35.302 --> 17:40.504
[SPEAKER_02]: And that has to be talked about, and people need to just go into that storm and do it.
17:41.524 --> 17:47.466
[SPEAKER_02]: Because if they run away from the storm, the pain and suffering is going to be longer.
17:49.271 --> 17:51.112
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, yes, I would agree.
17:51.272 --> 18:00.437
[SPEAKER_01]: And I really appreciate how you shared how families can start that conversation about long-term care without feeling overwhelming and intrusive.
18:01.118 --> 18:10.083
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, I think that's what people do feel is intrusive and greedy or I don't know, but there's nothing to do with that.
18:10.343 --> 18:13.625
[SPEAKER_02]: It has to do with love and making sure that money doesn't destroy that.
18:15.187 --> 18:16.167
[SPEAKER_02]: That makes sense, right?
18:17.288 --> 18:28.791
[SPEAKER_02]: And the other thing I would say is make sure that all of your life insurance is in order, your beneficiary designations are in order, all of these things are so important to talk about.
18:28.811 --> 18:38.734
[SPEAKER_02]: I can't tell you how many times people just push it away, push it away, and something bad happens, they're just completely lost.
18:38.854 --> 18:41.815
[SPEAKER_02]: It's not okay, and it's so avoidable.
18:43.048 --> 18:45.210
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, the sadness and the grief is enough.
18:47.371 --> 18:49.133
[SPEAKER_02]: The work that it takes, it's enough.
18:49.933 --> 18:50.634
[SPEAKER_02]: That's enough.
18:51.475 --> 18:55.218
[SPEAKER_02]: Why do I have to put in the money strain on top of it?
18:56.659 --> 19:03.304
[SPEAKER_02]: Be responsible, take accountability, speak up, and just have these important conversations.
19:06.399 --> 19:07.840
[SPEAKER_01]: This is such great advice.
19:08.280 --> 19:12.723
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to remind our viewers to follow us on Instagram and here on YouTube.
19:13.123 --> 19:15.744
[SPEAKER_01]: And you'll no doubt want to learn more about Abbey Large.
19:16.064 --> 19:23.108
[SPEAKER_01]: So please go to the description box below and we'll share more links to follow her and get information on today's topic.
19:26.790 --> 19:35.035
[SPEAKER_01]: What are some of the other common financial pitfalls families faced during these same years and how can they be avoided?
19:38.672 --> 19:40.753
[SPEAKER_01]: What kind of pitfalls do you mean?
19:42.393 --> 19:58.000
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I really appreciate the fact that you brought up life insurance, long-term care, and I'd love for you to expand more on how that plays in protecting families from financial strain during this stage and even beyond.
19:58.580 --> 19:58.780
[SPEAKER_02]: Sure.
19:59.833 --> 20:03.454
[SPEAKER_02]: Well, there's three phases of everyone's financial life, right?
20:03.494 --> 20:10.016
[SPEAKER_02]: There's the accumulation phase, and then there's the distribution phase, and then there's the preservation phase.
20:10.276 --> 20:22.119
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, the accumulation phase, your young, you're just starting your family, starting your career, your accumulating assets, accumulating, you know, real estate, whatever you're doing, you're just accumulating.
20:23.185 --> 20:25.025
[SPEAKER_02]: That's a long stretch of your life.
20:25.325 --> 20:31.086
[SPEAKER_02]: And it could be, I don't know, like forever, if you're not saving enough.
20:31.266 --> 20:35.647
[SPEAKER_02]: But in accumulation phase is where you need to protect your income.
20:37.067 --> 20:39.948
[SPEAKER_02]: Because your income is the most important asset that you have.
20:41.108 --> 20:50.410
[SPEAKER_02]: And most people don't realize this, but your chances of becoming sick or hurt during your working years is far greater than you die.
20:52.227 --> 20:52.727
[SPEAKER_02]: far greater.
20:52.767 --> 21:10.241
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, I'm in, I, I, I write a lot of insurance on a lot of my clients and I'm going, and I've been doing this for three decades and I'm going to tell you that from my experience, I have more people on a disability claim than I have paid out death claims way more really.
21:10.261 --> 21:10.922
[SPEAKER_02]: Mm-hmm.
21:12.103 --> 21:12.383
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
21:12.823 --> 21:16.546
[SPEAKER_02]: So disability insurance protecting that paycheck number one.
21:18.448 --> 21:18.848
[SPEAKER_02]: Wills.
21:20.309 --> 21:20.990
[SPEAKER_02]: When you turn,
21:21.841 --> 21:25.282
[SPEAKER_02]: majority age eighteen twenty one in some states.
21:27.924 --> 21:30.525
[SPEAKER_02]: You are responsible for yourself no one else can speak for you.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So if you if you're in a car accident and you're like out and and you you kid who who's going to make medical decisions for you who's going to write a check for you who's going to call a credit card company for you.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You have to have a power of attorney.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You have to have a health care proxy.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And you have to have a will.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Because the minute you own an asset, it's probatable.
21:54.748 --> 21:56.449
[SPEAKER_02]: So there are ways to avoid probate.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But a will with a health care proxy and power of attorney really, really important.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And those documents will change over time because your relationships change over time.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So make sure that you review them.
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[SPEAKER_02]: every few years.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That's really important.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Now we get into the distribution phase.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We're like, okay, kind of had enough.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And you're, you know, you want to like, maybe you have a halftime report.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You're doing something your passion project and your distributing assets.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's more dangerous to take money out than it
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's just more dangerous because you're still subject to all the systematic risk that's out there during accumulation phase.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Market risk, interest rate risk, inflation risk, all of these risks, but there's one major piece that's missing.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You know what that is?
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[SPEAKER_01]: No.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You're income.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Your income is missing.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So if you're taking money out in a down market,
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[SPEAKER_02]: that could wreak havoc on the portfolio.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Like, forget it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I remember in two thousand eight, there were clients that had to go back to work because they got decimated.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So it's very important to understand that there are three buckets.
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[SPEAKER_02]: when you're investing and putting away money, you're accumulating money, you've got your taxable, your tax deferred, and your tax freeze.
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[SPEAKER_02]: These are the buckets.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And depending on what the world is doing in any given moment, in any given time, where are you going to take that money from in a tax efficient way?
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[SPEAKER_02]: And that's where the financial advisor comes in, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: Because it's
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[SPEAKER_02]: Look, everyone, this is not everyone's thing, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: But it's my thing.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And it's people out there that are trained to do this thing.
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[SPEAKER_02]: So, speak to an advisor.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I would say.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Having said all that,
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[SPEAKER_02]: you're living your life and you're doing all these things and now you want to pass your wealth to the next generation in a tax efficient manner and that's the preservation phase where you're preserving those assets so I help people accumulation distribution preservation all phases of life and with regard to insurance and estate planning and investments and all of those things that you've involved.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And really, for me, it's about building clients that matter.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Relationships that matter and then I will have that client for life because the relationship matters to me because we're constantly reviewing things, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: So I would say,
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[SPEAKER_02]: financially speaking, those are the three phases.
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[SPEAKER_02]: The things that you need from a very high level, but I would absolutely say to find a financial advisor that you're comfortable with and that you trust to help you through and navigate all these phases of life and in a trusted CPA and a trusted estate attorney.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is such great advice.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I imagine during the accumulation phase, or maybe it's distribution, please share light on this, where does saving for children's college education while also planning for your own retirement and supporting your parents?
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[SPEAKER_01]: How does that fit into the three buckets?
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[SPEAKER_02]: It will depend.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It will depend.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And I cannot give a blanket answer.
25:36.316 --> 25:36.976
[SPEAKER_02]: I understand.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It depends.
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[SPEAKER_02]: The point is that you have to sit down and look at everything, the inflows, the outflows, what your priorities are, what your goals are, what your timeline is.
25:49.278 --> 25:50.158
[SPEAKER_02]: It depends.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And everyone's different.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But when I will say this, the takeaway here is, I'm not going to give you the answers, but you've got to sit down and talk it through so that you can get to the answers.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I will say.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's important not to ignore it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: If you know that you're facing education costs, mortgage costs, lifestyle costs, and your parents costs, you need to sit down with someone.
26:21.516 --> 26:23.017
[SPEAKER_02]: You can't, it's overwhelming.
26:23.577 --> 26:31.939
[SPEAKER_02]: And I think that's what most people feel is this sense of overwhelming stress and anxiety in how are we going to do this?
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[SPEAKER_02]: It's okay to pick up the phone and call someone and say, I need help.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what you need is just to get a plan and just to map it out and be transparent and accountable and committed to doing it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Setting goals.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And that's what I would say.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Don't ignore it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Don't push it to the side.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Don't sweep it under the rug.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Face it.
26:58.664 --> 27:00.805
[SPEAKER_01]: There's so much that goes into adulting.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I really appreciate all of the knowledge that you've shared.
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[SPEAKER_01]: First, we're thinking about careers and jobs and making money and then how to take care of everyone else.
27:11.671 --> 27:15.593
[SPEAKER_01]: So what's the best way to pass this knowledge on to children?
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[SPEAKER_01]: How do we teach children about financial responsibility?
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[SPEAKER_02]: By leading by example.
27:26.673 --> 27:29.814
[SPEAKER_02]: that is my final answer on that, leading by example.
27:30.794 --> 27:42.178
[SPEAKER_02]: And having an open and honest communicative relationship with your spouse and your children at the same time, know that this is a family thing.
27:43.279 --> 27:53.502
[SPEAKER_02]: When they're young, you can get that piggy bank and you can give them a little allowance and do I had never tied the allowance in with performance
27:54.660 --> 27:55.341
[SPEAKER_02]: Oh, okay.
27:55.401 --> 27:56.782
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'd love to hear more about that.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Never.
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[SPEAKER_02]: If, if my child performed, meaning did they pick up their room, did they do the chores in the house, did they do well in school, did they did great on a test?
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[SPEAKER_02]: I reward them with love and pride.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That's what I reward them with.
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[SPEAKER_02]: but money that is a totally different animal and if you tie the two together that is unhealthy it's unhealthy because you're missing the part that what money is supposed to do right you're supposed to save the money you're supposed to spend the money you're supposed to
28:41.198 --> 29:07.692
[SPEAKER_02]: donate the money you're supposed to invest the money like those are the things you have to teach children that money is therefore and they get an allowance and they have to figure it that out all four things figure that out and when when they fall and they make a mistake there's your moment take it to talk to them about that because children learn when they experience things it's a one that no different than adults
29:08.594 --> 29:10.115
[SPEAKER_02]: We learn from experience.
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[SPEAKER_02]: That's what failing forward is, right?
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[SPEAKER_02]: I asked my daughter a long time.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I said, what would you do in your life if you could never fail?
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[SPEAKER_02]: If you couldn't fail at anything, what would you do?
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[SPEAKER_02]: She said, I wouldn't get very far.
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[SPEAKER_02]: I was blown away by that answer.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And so failing forward is so important for children.
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[SPEAKER_02]: And when it happens, under your roof, which you only have eighteen years to do, that's it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You're done.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Under your roof.
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[SPEAKER_02]: make the mistakes, have them make those mistakes, talk to them about it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: We just had something happen last night with my youngest daughter and we sat at the dinner table and we had dinner together and let me, I'm going to plug this into, have dinner together and often.
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[SPEAKER_02]: Because if I didn't have dinner, if I didn't force my kids, everyone to come to the table for dinner last night, I wouldn't have known about a situation that we needed, that was important to talk about and, and she learned a lesson.
30:16.637 --> 30:40.835
[SPEAKER_02]: dinner together and often not a TV dinner we you know sometimes I'm I'm gonna I'll be honest I just don't feel like talking and I want to just watch the news and eat my dinner yes you gotta force yourself to sit at the table sit at the table I don't care how's your day tell me two truths I mean one lie just tell me about it something I have to guess which one you're lying about like just say
30:43.197 --> 30:49.001
[SPEAKER_02]: So that's what I would say during the younger accumulation years when you're raising a family.
30:50.402 --> 30:58.108
[SPEAKER_02]: When they start to get into the teenage years and their allowance has become greater.
30:59.730 --> 31:02.831
[SPEAKER_02]: That's going to be when you're going to have a lot of conversations, right?
31:02.891 --> 31:07.212
[SPEAKER_02]: You're going to be starting up talking about investing and what funds to put it in.
31:07.272 --> 31:11.233
[SPEAKER_02]: And you're talking about interest rates and inflation and taxes.
31:11.253 --> 31:13.013
[SPEAKER_02]: You're watching the news with your kids now.
31:13.073 --> 31:14.113
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like it's different.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It shifts.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But one of the things we did with our kids was, I have to say it was brilliant.
31:20.915 --> 31:24.616
[SPEAKER_02]: We were tired of planning these family vacations that we used to take.
31:25.716 --> 31:28.937
[SPEAKER_02]: So we gave the job to the kids and we said, here's your budget.
31:30.459 --> 31:33.880
[SPEAKER_02]: choose three different places that you think you want to go to.
31:34.140 --> 31:41.142
[SPEAKER_02]: Choose the excursions, the hotels, the flights, the restaurant, everything, soup to nuts.
31:42.143 --> 31:46.644
[SPEAKER_02]: Then presented to us and we'll decide as a family which one we want to go to.
31:46.804 --> 31:48.405
[SPEAKER_02]: Okay, so they did all that.
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[SPEAKER_02]: and we decided on a trip, and I kid you not, we just showed up.
31:54.180 --> 32:00.427
[SPEAKER_02]: And they were responsible for everything, and here's what it taught them, which is blows my mind to this day.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It taught them
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[SPEAKER_02]: and how to communicate together.
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[SPEAKER_02]: It taught them how to negotiate together.
32:07.479 --> 32:14.141
[SPEAKER_02]: It taught them what things really cost, and if you're late for them, you still have to pay for them.
32:14.601 --> 32:16.541
[SPEAKER_02]: And what that feels like, right?
32:17.261 --> 32:24.263
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, what that money bought, they felt it because they were actually doing out the money and experiencing it at the same time.
32:24.383 --> 32:25.903
[SPEAKER_02]: And they experienced it together.
32:25.983 --> 32:28.424
[SPEAKER_02]: So they were able to talk about it too, right?
32:28.484 --> 32:31.365
[SPEAKER_02]: They were talking about, well, that was a waste of barb money or whatever.
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[SPEAKER_02]: They felt it.
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[SPEAKER_02]: But the biggest thing I think they learned to do is to do it together.
32:40.581 --> 32:43.263
[SPEAKER_02]: and discuss the money together.
32:43.283 --> 32:49.368
[SPEAKER_01]: Abby, I love your idea of having the children plan the family vacation.
32:49.808 --> 32:58.515
[SPEAKER_01]: Years ago, when the kids were still living at home in young, we decided at Christmas time that we were no longer gonna do all the presents.
32:59.036 --> 33:01.938
[SPEAKER_01]: And we decided to create what we called Christmas memories.
33:02.398 --> 33:07.042
[SPEAKER_01]: But the funny story is the first time we actually went to Atlantis
33:07.562 --> 33:11.786
[SPEAKER_01]: which I don't know if you've ever been, but it can be very expensive.
33:12.206 --> 33:16.730
[SPEAKER_01]: So the next year we went to a little more budget from the vacation.
33:17.170 --> 33:20.092
[SPEAKER_01]: And my son, we asked him, how do you like this?
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[SPEAKER_01]: How's it going?
33:21.373 --> 33:27.418
[SPEAKER_01]: And he looked at my husband and I and he said, this is great, but I could go to Atlanta every year.
33:27.839 --> 33:32.783
[SPEAKER_01]: And we just laughed because he had no idea the difference in cost.
33:33.423 --> 33:36.244
[SPEAKER_01]: What a gem you taught your children.
33:36.544 --> 33:40.324
[SPEAKER_01]: And I hope others that are listening are paying attention to that too.
33:40.344 --> 33:41.545
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that story.
33:41.565 --> 33:42.265
[SPEAKER_01]: That's funny.
33:44.065 --> 33:47.406
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I have to say we covered so much ground.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I want to thank you for all your savvy advice, your examples of what you you chose and did with your own family personally.
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[SPEAKER_02]: You're quite welcome.
33:58.308 --> 34:00.108
[SPEAKER_02]: It was really fun and thank you for having me.
34:00.926 --> 34:06.749
[SPEAKER_01]: I hope all of you will have lots of positive takeaways and how to build healthy money habits.
34:07.209 --> 34:12.232
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you'd like to our conversation, please like and subscribe to Growing Up with Dr. Sarah.
34:12.552 --> 34:16.014
[SPEAKER_01]: So others like you raising families can find this episode.
34:16.454 --> 34:21.397
[SPEAKER_01]: Until next time, I'm Dr. Sarah Adams and let's grow up together.
